The Perfect Haircut

"Ready for me to cut your hair?"

"Yeah, Mom, whatever.  Just make sure to get it all even this time.  I don't want everyone making fun of me again."

"Oh Mason, you know I try my best to cut your hair the way you want it.  I've only been doing this for twenty-three years.  I used to cut your brother's hair too, you know, and he never complained.  Now, sit still!"

"Mom!  Would you stop comparing me to Mike?"

"I'm not comparing you.  But it wouldn't be a bad thing, you know, for you to take after him.  Michael has grown into a very successful man."

"Yeah, yeah.  Whatever."

"Aren't you proud that he was prom  king in high school and he just graduated from Harvard?  ...And how he's starting his own business and becoming so responsible?"

Careful with those scissors, Mom!  I want it cut evenly!"

"And what bout that girlfriend of his?  Isn't she gorgeous?  I'm so glad he is going to marry that one.  When you get married, I hope you pick out a pleasant girl like her."

"Mo-om!"

"Come on, Mason, any other boy your age would be jealous if his older brother was getting married to a girl that pretty!"

"Maybe I'm not gonna get married."

"Why would you say a thing like that?  Your don't have to plan it now, you're only 16 for crying out loud, but..."

"Give me those scissors!"

"I can cut and talk at the same time, just hold still!"

"Well, I want to do it  myself.  You're not even styling it the way I want."

"Just calm down, Mason!  You've never had problems with the way I cut your hair before."

"Well I am now!"

"Well you're gonna deal with it!"

"Stop cutting my hair, Mom!"

"Hold still!"

"You're messing it up!"

"It'll take two minutes!"

"Just stop, Mom!"

"Mason--"

"Mom, I'm gay."

"Hold sti-- What?!"

"Ahhhh, my ear!  Mom, look what you did to my hair!"